brilliant, coward, or compassionate?

I am bemoaning my inability to play tricks on people. As all of you know April Fool's day was Sunday and I came up with this brilliant, if a little wicked plan for my small group. (if you don't know i lead the seventh grade small group at my church). CeCe (the other leader who's pretty much ridiculously amazing) was going to show up to small group on time and be hanging out with the girls. About five minutes into it she was going to get a call from our friend Liz. She would walk into the other room to take the call and (unbeknownst to the girls) put eye drops in her eyes to make it look like she was crying. Then she was going to come back in and tell the girls that she had gotten a call from liz, that i was in a terrible car accident and was in the hospital with broken bones and stuff. Right as she was loading them into her car to come see me at the hospital and i would drive up and be like "hey, how's it going?"
It was an awesome plan, but about 30 minutes before small group started i began to doubt that we should do it. So i talked to Liz and she felt like it was a little too mean, and CeCe still wanted to do it (cause she is mean like that), but i cancelled the plan. I was terrified they would take it too seriously and tell their parents and then i would be in trouble. So, the brilliant plan was never put into motion because i am a coward. But we got them with something simpler so it was still fun. Anyway. i hope you guys had fun april fool's days and that you weren't tricked too badly by anyone...

Girls only please...

So this weekend i am in charge of the junior high girls retreat. it has been quite the ordeal finding a place to stay. we finally decided to bite the bullet and pay the $400 for a place we can't really afford. But the room is perfect and i am so excited. This is an annual event where the boys go one place and the girls go somewhere entirely different and we fellowship together with our own gender. It's a great opportunity for the girls to just have fun together and not be worried about boys, or to talk about things we are embarrassed to talk about with boys. Anyway. If you think about us this weekend pray for us. I have agreed to help lead worship, with my very pitiful guitar skills, so we will see how that part goes. but we have a great speaker (she's also our summer intern) and the best volunteer leaders ever... so it should be a blast. i can't wait. i just wish someone else were in charge of all the details because we all know that organization and planning is not my strength...

Watch out Mexico, here i come....

Most of you already know that i am going to Mexico, but you may not know that i am leaving tomorrow. In less than 24 hours i will be on a plane headed to Vera Cruz. It is so exciting. We will be delivering Christmas shoe boxes, probably do two to three deliveries each day. I will be with some awesome high school girls from my youth group, and a whole bunch of people i don't know. Anyway. If you think about me in the next 5 days please pray for us and our journey. Pray that my very rocky spanish can help me present the gospel to these children we will meet, and pray that God will move mightily in our hearts and theirs through this short trip.
And also pray that i don't lose (or forget) my passport!
Adios!

An unusual blessing

So i go to leave my house for work this morning, i crank the car, i start to back up and i realize my tire sounds really funny on the gravel. Yup it's flat. There is a nail in it. So i call in and say i'm gonna be late, robbie gives me some good pointers for changing a tire and i go to work. First, it took like 10 minutes to get the tire out of it's spot in the trunk of my car. Then i couldn't find the device i needed to get the hubcap off. After i finally got that off i thought i was on a roll. Welllll, not so much. For the life of my i couldn't figure out how to work the jack. I knew there was one specific, very simple thing i needed to do i just didn't know what that thing was. So after twenty or so minutes of my dad trying to help me over the phone i finally just called robbie and the whole crew came out to help me. Yup, Robbie, Lydia, Aaron and Len. Aaron gets out of the car, and two seconds later the jack is no longer a mystery to me, he knew what to do. So we finish changing the tire, i had some help from Len and Aaron, but they made me do most of it myself, and now i have an ugly, but thankfully fullsized spare tire on my car.
The blessing is this, it is a gorgeous, warm day. So while i could have been stuck inside in a meeting, i was outside enjoying the beautiful day and we got to pray out there as a staff. AND i had been trying hard to figure out what i was going to say in my talk at youth group tonight---now i know.
So, thanks to the Lord for this beautiful day, and even for my flat tire. Let's just hope i am still thanking him when i have to take the car in and get the tire fixed...
Enjoy your Wednesday, or thursday or whatever day it is you are reading this!

Aunt Lay turns 90...

I am a firm believer that if you live to be 90 years old, and can still move around like aunt Lay does you deserve one heck of a party--and that is what we threw for her this weekend. Sister was the mastermind behing the party, planning the guest list, the menu, and everything. Mom, Dad and i showed up a day early to help get ready. A LOT of cooking and cleaning and tense moments later Aunt Lay showed up and was thoroughly surprised to find family and friends there to celebrate with her. Aunt Sherrie turned out one of her beautiful cakes, that tasted as amazing as always, people told stories and gave hugs, and it was great. Here's hoping we get to do this again when she turns 100... and can i say how thankful i am that we have 10 years to recover and prepare...

Happy Valentine's Day

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends... SO now faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13

In this is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1John 4:10-11

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a good righteous person---though perhaps for a good person would dare even to die---but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
Romans 5:6-8


As a single woman, who has been single pretty much all of her eligible dating years, Valentine's day has often brought with it feelings of frustration, loneliness, and not so pleasant thoughts about myself. And reading these Scriptures today convicts my heart about so many things. This day reveals the world's portrayal of love in a sad light for me. I see the world's love as selfish, empty, unsatisfied, proud, more of a lust thing than a love thing.
But we have truth, we have Scripture, we have a love that is real, that is sacrificing, that is so sweet and amazing that we hesitate to believe it and have a hard time trusting in it because it is too good to be true. Now I realize that i have little room to talk because i am not married and have not had the chance to encounter sacrifice for another as intimately as you married people do on i am sure a daily basis. And i will admit that i have done little sacrificing for love of my Lord, or of the people he has put in my path.
But my heart soars with the possibility of it, because i am struck with the richness of a love that makes someone willing to die for another (more Christ style than say romeo and juliet), especially a love that gives it all for the sake of those who ridiculed and mocked and sinned against Him.
All that to say I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's day that is filled with a love far richer and deeper than candy or flowers, not only a love received by you, but given by you (and me) as well.

Ahh, life is ordinary again...

So, when last i left you we had just experienced a harrowing escapade with our stove and i was hoping for some peace in the gildernew household. Unfortunately that was not to be. Tuesday morning rolled around and i somehow got the stomach bug (which i blame mom for by the way). It was sad. By 7:30 that night i was so dehydrated i knew i wasn't going to be able to wait until wednesday to see a doctor. So i called mom who said go to the hospital or call Greta. Well, i didn't think i could make the ride down the mtn, not to mention i didn't want to drag the girls with me to the emergency room. So i called Greta, who is my second mom, and she called a doctor who goes to our church. Greta's husband Marc went, picked this nice doctor up and brought him over to see me. He proceeded to give me an iv, in the living room, and some medicine they give cancer patients after treatments to get rid of nausea. I don't think i've ever had an iv before. it was pretty cool. Anyway, it helped tremendously to get fluids in my body and stop the nausea for a little while, so i was able to go to sleep and to recover from my illness.
On Wednesday the parents were coming home, so i moved back to my apartment. Then the pipes in the barn burst, so i had no water. Thankfully i have a gracious and wonderful friend named Patty who took me in and i stayed with her for a couple nights.
On Friday our youth group had a huge event. it was much fun, but exhausting because i was still recovering from the sickness.
SO that was my week last week. But now i am back in my apartment, i am completely recovered, and my stove has not yet burst into flames.
As much as i miss the girls i had been staying with, i will say i am kind of enjoying the normalcy of this week (except for the nightmare i had this morning in between hitting snoozes on the alarm clock. it was a doozy!).

how to make my heart stop beating

So i am enjoying lunch and time with mom, dad, lisa and the kids (you know from Japan) when i get a call from my charges, whose parents don't return from their trip until tomorrow. Kelly says, "Erin, we walked in and we smelled something really bad." I say, "okay, what is it" and she says "Just come home!" in this slightly panicky i have no idea what to do voice.
I, of course am at least 30 minutes away and cannot get there fast enough. So she explains to me that they came in, smelled smoke and when they opened the oven the coil at the bottom was glowing. The problem: the oven was not turned on. So the glowing continued to grow and the girls didn't know what to do and were understandably scared, so they threw water on it. Which, when it is an electrical problem like this was is not the safest choice.
Then they tell me that it was sparking and steaming. All i can say is "get out of the house" which of course they didn't do.
So i call my boss, who calls his son and then i call another guy i work with and they rush over there, cause they are much closer. I am talking to Robbie when he pulls up to the road and he's like "Uh, i see a lot of smoke. I can't tell where it's coming from.... Oh wait it's just the construction site at another spot on their road." This may have been where my heart stopped completely. They couldn't find the breaker that the oven was on, so they got back there and unplugged it (which i had told the girls not to do by themselves) and the problem was solved.
Somewhere in the midst of all this their sister, who had been in class at Covenant, shows up to help out (and i must say she was much more level headed and practical about it all) I, naturally, show up after all of this is taken care of. I believe i broke every speed limit and traffic law i could to get home. And i was on the phone with them almost the whole time, but i was imagining much worse things than what actually happened.
While in reality i think it was all very anticlimactic, it did make for an eventful and rather scary afternoon. And we had lots to laugh about later.
So, thanks to our heroes: Len, Marshall and Robbie, for coming to the rescue when Annie and I couldn't get there in time.
Here's hoping there is nothing eventful in the next 36 hours, and that the parents make it back stateside safely.

Ah, to be a mom...

So this week i am playing mom to two teenage girls. It's pretty much the best job ever. I haven't really gotten to spend a lot of time with them yet, cause our schedules are all so hectic, but i am hoping tonight at dinner we will have some fun. They also have a college age sister who i am very good friends with and she lives at home. so really i just get to hang out with a three amazing girls for 9 days. I lov emy life.

On another note, the baby is being baptized this weekend so the family will be all together. Hope everyone has a safe trip here.

I know this isn't a very exciting post, but i was getting complaints since it has been a while. And I am at work so i have to go do my job.
See y'all soon!

baby's first christmas

Quote Board

For those of you who did not have the privilege of living on the Loft, you may never have experienced the joy of a "quote board." We had one and it was a blast. We (and by we i mean jessica and sometimes lael) would put quotes on a board and people would have to guess what movie the quote was from.
A few of us were gathered last weekend and we were lamenting the loss of our quote board, so i thought i would get a post going to start it back up.

Now I will give you a hint for this first one, it is a tv show.

" Stretchy pants, why those are the greatest things in the world. If i were you i would wear them every day, every day!"

One more... this time a movie.

"The human head weighs 8 pounds."


any guesses?

65 kids, 3 houses, lots of food

There is nothing like planning and executing a progressive dinner for a junior high youth group to bring stress into your life, but it is so much fun.
I didn't know much about the concept of progressive dinners before this job, but now i would say i've learned a thing or two.
Thankfully we have several families with houses big enough to host about 90 people, and lots of parents who are willing to make dishes and serve at homes.
The parents here are amazingly supportive and helpful.

Anyway we ate, played games, ate, heard a great talk from robbie, ate some more.
All in all it was a pretty succesful venture, one i am glad does not have to be repeated for an entire year. Now it's off to write thank you notes for the tons of people who helped make this happen for us
I have done the progressive dinner
I have seen the Nutcracker ballet
I have had a small group Christmas party
and I have already finished my first shopping for christmas presents adventure...
Christmas is coming. I love december.

A conversation that defines my life...

Lorelai: "What should we have for dinner tonight?"
Rory: "Probably something healthy since we ate junk all weekend."
Lorelai: "that's not true. We had lettuce on our burgers last night."
Rory: "But we took it off."
Lorelai: "it left it's essence."
Rory: "There was lettuce essence on our burgers? and that satisfies our vegetable requirement?"
Lorelai: "For the month."

UGH!!!!!!!!! The evolution of abortion terminology ticks me off

Remember when we were called "pro-life" or "pro-choice"?
Then instead of pro-life it became "anti-abortion". and people who support abortion are now "abortion rights activists."
Instead of "unborn child" it became "fetus"
Instead of the argument being about the life of the child in the womb, it became the "woman's choice" for "her life"
Or abortion should be legal across the board for that one in a million pregnant woman whose life is threatened by her pregnancy.
Today I was reading an article about the Supreme Court case on the Partial Birth Abortion Ban.
The term "partial birth abortion" is actually used in the law they are debating aout and the author of the article says things like "so-called partial birth abortion" or "the medical procedure that opponents call partial birth abortion" or "late term abortions."
I say Bullshit. Abortion activists spend time thinking up names and terms that make what they are doing seem noble and right. Or at least cushion the horror of the actual procedure so people think it is okay.

As someone who believes in the sanctity of human life, and that life begins at conception my anger burns toward the whole situation. These are children we are talking about here. Infants, babies. They are not "unpersons"
or "prepersons." In Rome they used to leave children out for wild animals to get if they didn't want them. Here we just try to get it done before the child is born so we don't have to face the child whose life is being taken.
I know that the people who are reading this are going to agree with me, so i'm not really doing any good, but i needed a place to vent my anger and frustration.

Thinking about my niece, it makes me sick that so many women in america never get the chance to know their child because of abortion, and they suffer the guilt and the consequences of buying into the lie that abortion is a "woman's choice for her body" and not the murder of an unborn child.

Weighing in at 7pounds 10 ounces, 20 and a half inches long...

is Avery Elisabeth. She was born Saturday, Oct. 28 @ 5:34 pm.
It was a long, hard day for mother, baby, and dad who was a good coach. But she is finally here and she is soooooo beautiful!!!!!!!!!!
I am sure there will be many pictures to come so look out for them.

I am now officially an aunt. It's pretty much the best job in the world. Can't wait to bore you all with hundreds of pictures. She is the first grandbaby on both sides so she is bound to be spoiled.
i will hopefully be going back to the hospital to see her soon...

Congratulations to Matt and Shannon, who are a little busy and incredibly tired at the moment. They are so blessed to have a healthy, happy (for the most part so far) baby.

A tribute to Christian entertainment for children (or at least the good stuff)

I was reading my friend Megan's post yesterday about the Wee Sing songs from when she was a kid and it reminded me of how much i love Judy Rogers.
Anyone remember her? She is pretty much the best. One of my favorite songs is
Isabelle the pig
"Isabelle is a pig with a ring in her snout. You can dress Izzie up but you can't take her out. She will jump in the middle of a big mud puddle cause Isabelle is a pig"
And "Go to the Ant" and "Alligator Shoes" and all kinds of fun songs that i miss singing.
Another thing i still love is Psalty the singing song (i can't remember if it's song or psalm) book. I mean who doesn't love a song book that speaks, teaches kids lessons, and helps them learn to praise Jesus? My favorite, that i listen to occasionally would be Charity Churchmouse. You know, the one where the Charity thinks she is bound to be a gospel singing star but can't play the songmobile because she isn't actually praising Jesus with her heart.
Ah, good times.
I know i'm rambling but can i just say how much better this is for kids than kidbop or kidbop praise songs? i don't know if you've seen the commercials for kidbop--where they take current popular songs and have kids sing them, take out the bad words, and sell it to kids. Well, now they've done it with praise songs---they've made them all like technobeat, or faster rhythms and the kids are dancing around and singing on the commercials.
You just can't beat Psalty, Judy, G.T and the Halo Express, and Veggie Tales. Why would you even try?

Life is Fragile

Jeremiah 10:23 "I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own, it is not for man to direct his steps."
Luke 12:22-23
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or about your body, what you will wear. life is more than food and the body more than clothes... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?


The word "life" appears more than a few times in the Bible. Many times it is referring to eternal life, or life in Christ, or Christ as the life.
The reason i mention it now is because we, as humans, easily forget how fragile human life truly is. I am probably the most guilty of believing that i won't really die. Death is unreal to me, even though i have lost more than a couple family members.

Yesterday there was a twelve car pile up in my hometown. One of the guys who died in that accident was a couple years behind me in high school and we had participated in several musicals together in our early teen days. We were not close, but we were acquaintances. I think he was 20 or 21 years old. He was engaged to be married. So he left behind a fiance and his parents and many others who knew and loved him i am sure. I know there were at least two other deaths and possibly three from that accident. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, i found out yesterday that the lady who has been training one of the horses i take care of died in a car accident over the weekend. She was 31. The last conversation i had with her was when we were both at the gas station grabbing snacks. I still have her business card. My heart aches for their families and friends.

What these kind of deaths, these untimely, tragic deaths make me do is face where my trust really is. Am I trusting Christ in my life, for my life? Or does the way i live my life suggest that my trust is in something else, maybe myself, maybe the safety ratings of my car. Maybe i lull myself into a false sense of security by lying to myself---ignoring the reality that many young people die in all kinds of ways. I don't have forever to live for Christ on earth. I have the days he has given me and i have no idea when those run out. I hide behind my "shyness," and use it as an excuse not to be bold for Him. My days are numbered by Him, but i have no idea how long i will be here and if he took me today would i be able to say that i had redeemed the time. That i had used the time He gave me to show Him to others?
I don't think so. Can you?

4000 Women, starbucks coffee, and crowded food courts...

That's about what my weekend was. Can you imagine 4000 women in the same building, let alone in the same room for an entire weekend. I mean we didn't stay in that room the whole time but we sure spent a lot of time there.
The PCA Women in the Church conference was this past weekend in Atlanta. Let me just tell you, it was great.
Let's see what words i can come up with to describe it...

Overwhelming: people i hadn't seen in 13 years, great speakers but way too much challenging information to take in in less than 48 hours, did i mention 4000 women?

Fun: i mean who can't have fun with all those wonderful Demop ladies?

Exhausting: not so much sleep, 7 hour and a half sessions from friday night to sunday morning, getting lost in atlanta on the way there, getting almost killed in atlanta on the way home (not really but i always feel like i could die any minute when i am in heavy traffic moving at high speeds).

Awesome: Indelible Grace-Kevin Twit. Let's just say the worship was amazing. Wade Williams did a great job as well. And i am officially a fan of Ginny Owens.
And don't even get me started on Paige Benton Brown. The first thing i did when i got to my computer monday was google her name to see what other talks might be available. i haven't found anything yet but i am still looking...

I think that about sums up my weekend. So how was everyone else's???

Chasing The Wind

I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.
Yet when i surveyed all that my hands had done
and what i had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
nothing was gained under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 2:10-11

Just a reminder to myself that i am not here for my own pleasure and accomplishments. I think it is something i tend to forget often, which leads to not being content in who, what and where i am.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing i desire besides you.
Psalm 73:25
How do you go about making this statement true in your life? I know i have desires for earthly things, and the problem is that a lot of times i allow them to overcome my desire for my Savior. How do you fight back when you've allowed the desires of the sinful nature to invade?

Wide Right? Not This Time...

I must admit i was a little skeptical as we headed in to the "orange bowl" Monday evening. I am a pessimistic football fan. My theory is, if i expect them to do bad then i won't be disappointed when they do. And let's face it, the Florida State football team has given us fans much cause for heartache and disappointment over the last few years. But, this is the second year in a row we have beat the Miami Hurricanes in the first game of the season by three points.
I was not impressed with the team that played the first half of the game, but i certainly think they stepped up to the plate and got the job done in the second half.
Now, if you're like me, you're probably a little worried that we aren't going to make it out of our streak of losing 4 (5 last year) games a year.
But my goal is to turn into an optimistic football fan.
I mean Drew Weatherford has a whole year of experience under his belt to help steady his nerves this year. Buster Davis is pretty much all over the place---I mean if i had been choosing player of the game he would have been it for sure. De'Cody Fagg wasn't so bad himself.Our kickers did a pretty decent job. Now if we could just do something about our lack of creativity on offense...

OK, i'll get over it. I do want to say one last thing...
GO NOLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!