Is it worth being a florida state fan?

I have come to the realization that being a florida state fan is willingly allowing crushing heartbreak into my life. Being by nature a competitive person i take the losses personally and today's loss was especially brutal.
For as long as i can remember i have been a florida state fan. I love bobby bowden, i love the players, i love garnet and gold, i love osceola, renegade, everything about florida state football. But today, as i watched us hand the game to miami on a silver platter in the last three minutes, i wanted to throw up. As my dad says "You can't win a ballgame when you are playing not to lose."
Florida State had EVERY opportunity to blow miami out of the water, but instead of scoring touchdowns we had to kick 5 field goals. We intercepted balls, we finally had something resembling a good running game, we had momentum and excitement and we kept miami from scoring on several occasions. It looked like we were finally coming together...even with our fumbles and interceptions and penalties we were still winning.
But when it comes down to it we do not have what it takes to win. We have proved that over and over and over. We play not to lose. We do the "safe thing," we lose our cool, we just stop playing and allow the other team to go seventy yards and get ahead of us with a minute and fifteen seconds left in the game and we cannot recover.
Every time i allow my hopes to rise as the game goes on, as we do something good, as we make plays happen i hear a voice somewhere in the back of my mind saying "don't get excited, you know they are going to do something stupid and give the game away." I try to listen to that voice but i just keep thinking they can pull it out, i allow myself to be convinced... and then my hopes are dashed. How long do we take it before we give up and stop watching altogether? How long do they play like that before they can't take it anymore and they start actually achieving to the level they are capable of achieving?
I know. I know. it's just a game. but it seems like so much more than that.

Stranded...

So I am sort of assuming that no one actually checks this blog anymore since it has been two months since i have put anything up. But since i have some time and a few stories i thought i would update you all.

Currently i am stranded in the youth building. I came in about 8:45 to do some job application stuff (for those of you who don't know my internship is over in august and i am currently looking for a new position), and accidentally locked my keys in my office. Yes. that's right. And of course no one that i work with will answer their phones or listen to their messages so i am a little out of luck right now. I might be spending the night here. And all day tomorrow since it is a holiday and no one is going to be coming in. So i am using the youth secretary's computer and pondering my stupidity... but that's not the real story...

Sunday evening i was hanging out in my apartment when i decided to go clean out some horse stalls in the barn. Sidda (that's my dog) had been barking off and on, which is unusual for her, but i thought she just wanted to come inside so i ignored her. Well i come down the stairs and she comes running towards me with this huge snake skin in her mouth. I flipped out. It was ridiculous (if you don't believe me ask my dad). I immediately called every boy i knew so they could come search the barn to see if the snake was still there and of course no one answered the phone (apparently it's a pattern in my life). So i called my daddy. And freaked out on the phone to him for about half an hour. Then i decided i would not be cleaning horse stalls and i went to bed (After putting the snake skin in a plastic bag to take to work the next day of course).


So the next day i am feeling a little guilty cause the horse stalls really needed to be cleaned out, and the poor horses had been cooped up in them for days. I go down stairs with my big mucking boots on and am prepared to clean out the stalls. Just to be safe i stomp (and i do mean stomp) all the way to the back of the barn to see the spot where i thought Sidda had found the snakeskin, and to confirm that the snake was indeed gone, but as i got back there i saw this black tail twitching and this long slimy body... I don't think anyone has ever run so fast in steel toed boots. I hightailed it to the front of the barn and called daddy, who of course... didn't answer the phone! so i called mom. then i called my boss, who was on his way to the lake with a bunch of junior high boys and asked him who i should call to come kill it. Eventually i called my landlord and explained my dilemma. He came out and checked (and of course couldn't find the snake) and i didn't have to clean out the horse stalls.

I have never considered myself to be a girly girl. But i have to say, and i believe daddy will concur, that i was at my most girly in this particular situation. I just absolutely cannot handle snakes. I mean yuck! i just can't do it.
I hope you had a laugh over my misfortunes of the week...all i can say is welcome to my life.
Have a blessed holiday tomorrow. Happy 4th of July!

gecko eggs, puppies and laundry...

the life of a mother of three girls ages 81/2 and 12.( i can count. there are two 12 year olds). All i have to say is that i truly admire and respect anyone who is a mother, and especially mothers who work. It takes a strong woman, apparently one much stronger than me. Although i am learning to function with the feeling of always being tired. I am in the home stretch with one more week until their parents come home. They have been great girls. but it just talkes so much time and energy...
This morning one of the geckos hatched an egg. So one of the girls and i proceeded to check lowes, home depot, petsmart, petco, ace hardware, and finally a tiny, local feed store before finding an incubator, and now i am sitting at work with a huge incubator, and a tiny gecko egg, hoping i can regulate the temperature enough that i don't accidentally kill the baby gecko.
She was like two hours late for school and i was like two hours late for work. I have no idea if we put the dogs up this morning, or if we fed them (there are three dogs), or if she will be in trouble for having no excuse for being late for school (apparently incubator hunting does not count as going to the doctor or dentist).
I am already ready to go to bed and it is only noon. Oh, and you would not believe how much laundry four girls in one house can produce in like three days. it's ridiculous. half the time i forget i am even doing laundry and open the dryer up the next day to find a load of clothes or towels in it.
I don't mean to sound whiny or like i am complaining because i am not. I have enjoyed this time, but i definitely have a taste of what many women do every day and i would like to say THANK YOU for raising your kids and putting them first because i know how hard it must be.

ANd praise the Lord that there have been no serious injuries, breakdowns, or sicknesses in the time i have been with them. Let's pray that continues for the home stretch... THanks for all the prayers...

Sidda and Storm in case you were wondering...

You could write a book...

about what i don't understand about taxes. in fact you could write a whole library of books on that particular subject and i still wouldn't get it.
um. so i didn't realize until yesterday that it was that time of year. and i will just go ahead and admit that i don't do my own taxes, never have and hopefully never will :). This is where my dad comes in. He's the best daddy in the world because i call him a little panicky and am like "i haven't done my taxes. i have no idea what to do. how much trouble am i in?" and he says just give me the info i need and i will file it for you... that's love.
Now here's hoping that my husband, whoever the poor soul may be, is going to be just as loving because i think if they let me do my own taxes the government would put me in jail for a few years...
Happy taxing!

brilliant, coward, or compassionate?

I am bemoaning my inability to play tricks on people. As all of you know April Fool's day was Sunday and I came up with this brilliant, if a little wicked plan for my small group. (if you don't know i lead the seventh grade small group at my church). CeCe (the other leader who's pretty much ridiculously amazing) was going to show up to small group on time and be hanging out with the girls. About five minutes into it she was going to get a call from our friend Liz. She would walk into the other room to take the call and (unbeknownst to the girls) put eye drops in her eyes to make it look like she was crying. Then she was going to come back in and tell the girls that she had gotten a call from liz, that i was in a terrible car accident and was in the hospital with broken bones and stuff. Right as she was loading them into her car to come see me at the hospital and i would drive up and be like "hey, how's it going?"
It was an awesome plan, but about 30 minutes before small group started i began to doubt that we should do it. So i talked to Liz and she felt like it was a little too mean, and CeCe still wanted to do it (cause she is mean like that), but i cancelled the plan. I was terrified they would take it too seriously and tell their parents and then i would be in trouble. So, the brilliant plan was never put into motion because i am a coward. But we got them with something simpler so it was still fun. Anyway. i hope you guys had fun april fool's days and that you weren't tricked too badly by anyone...

Girls only please...

So this weekend i am in charge of the junior high girls retreat. it has been quite the ordeal finding a place to stay. we finally decided to bite the bullet and pay the $400 for a place we can't really afford. But the room is perfect and i am so excited. This is an annual event where the boys go one place and the girls go somewhere entirely different and we fellowship together with our own gender. It's a great opportunity for the girls to just have fun together and not be worried about boys, or to talk about things we are embarrassed to talk about with boys. Anyway. If you think about us this weekend pray for us. I have agreed to help lead worship, with my very pitiful guitar skills, so we will see how that part goes. but we have a great speaker (she's also our summer intern) and the best volunteer leaders ever... so it should be a blast. i can't wait. i just wish someone else were in charge of all the details because we all know that organization and planning is not my strength...